Most of our major decisions in life are influenced by one factor - fear. And most of us would not agree at first. But think about it:

The most common rant I hear is about work -- You have a sucky job that you hate and it's making your life miserable. Every morning you wake up and dread the fact that in a few hours you will be at a battle field, your workplace. But you don't do anything about it. You don't quit. You don't talk to your boss. All you do is come home and rant about how your life has become so miserable.

Your reasons - 'oh the economy is so bad', 'there are no jobs out there', ' they are not hiring internationals' etc etc. But be honest for a moment, and ask yourself - 'what am i scared of' and 'what would I do if I was not scared'. Suddenly you have a million options. Things you like and things that you love. World is suddenly a better place!

While growing up, we have fancy goals. Some want to be astronauts, others want to start the next Google. Or actress, dancers, artists, pilots and what not. Why? Cz we are fearless. Simple cz we dont know the consequences or may be we don't care about them. A child would never learn to walk, if he was scared of falling. You and I will never enjoy the rain, if we were scared of getting wet. Humans would have not invented anything if they were scared of failing. How would life be if we all were scared? Not very pretty.

Next time you are at the edge, push yourself. Don't be scared of falling off the cliff. And see where you land. You will be amazed!

Ask yourself 'what would you do if you were not scared?'

Repeat Offender!

Yes. That's what they called me. So let me rant about that today --

For a company of about 100 employees, they assigned us 33 spots next to the building and rest are on the other side of the intersection. To get to work from that parking lot you need to cross two busy roads and especially when it's 100 degrees outside, it is a BIG deal to walk back to work in those uncomfortable shoes. Especially when the heat is killing you and making you feel like you are going to pass out any minute if you don't get some shade.

Not to forget, there are still some empty parking spots available right next to the building where we are not supposed to park. And if we do, we get the following e-mail:

From: Parking hawk

Sent: Thursday, August 18, 2011 12:02 PM

To: My Company

Subject: Parking Exceptions - 18Aug2011

Importance: High

Hello,

Will you please see if these (pictures attached) three vehicles - that are parked in wrong parking spaces - belong to any of your employees or guests? (Some are Texas plates).

Also, there is a blue VW Beetle, Tag #MyTag (a repeat offender) from your people that is parked in a bank spot on the north side off Robinson.

Please ask that these vehicles be moved immediately.

Really? I mean, get a life and let other people focus on theirs'. Cz you know what, I have more important things to do. I am sick. I am tired. And I do not want to walk when it's so friggin hot outside. Please be nice and your good deeds will be rewarded (by God). Thank you!

P.S. Ignore the parking job.

This week has been a little weird, not necessarily in a good way. I think I am just missing my old self. Where is the carelessness, laughter, energy, motivation? After a lot of introspection, I think I found the reason - lack of flow of creativity through my cerebrum. Reason for that? Not enough brain stimulating conversations or experiences. Why? Not meeting enough smart and interesting people and not meeting smart and interesting people enough; if you know what I mean. May be it's time to fix that.

Eleven reasons why I should buy a TV

Talk about people who don't learn from their mistakes! Yes, I am one of them :( I again lost a post just cz I compiled it in notepad++ and rebooted the machine without saving the document.

So I was writing about why I decided on buying a TV (yes, finally!). Few reasons that motivated me and helped me make this decision were:I don’t have room mates

1. I don't have room mates

2. I don’t have a boy friend

3. I have friends but they are all so talented that they have jobs

4. I love watching movies – and I already have a blockbuster membership

5. I need to catch up with the rest of the world – day to day update you see

6. I want to be left alone at times – so that I can just lie on my couch and watch useless reality shows

7. I want to have girls’ nights often – fruity cocktails, giggles, chick flicks and my girls

8. I want to be able to host drinking video game parties at home

9. There is a huge corner in my living room which is empty and needs something to be put there (yes this argument qualifies cz a TV CAN be put there)

10. A TV will keep me home (hopefully?)

11. I want a TV – Wait, we don’t need any more arguments! This discussion is over!

Well, so we just decided that I NEED a TV. Now the question is what kind. I have everything figured out except, I have a question – is it worth spending extra 200 bucks to get a 120Hz instead of 60Hz? How big is the difference? Suggestions?

What a week, what a day!

I started my day an hour late today. Obviously everyone can tell cz it's a bad hair day - On a Thursday, I am dressed like it's Friday. Skipped breakfast. Not a good feeling! And to top it all, the minute I entered my office, my boss asked me to attend a day-long training. Another training = more expectation! And what's not fun is that I have no background of what the training is about. But the good thing is that we got barbecue for lunch from Rib Cribs. Which obviously called for another shot of coffee dark as tar – and I absolutely don’t mind that.

You don't love me anymore - I am saying this cz I noticed a sudden drop in the number of e-mails I get in my personal inbox. All I get is the subscribed e-mails. Why don't you send me a note sometime :-) I still love you; I just don't have internet connection at home. But if you e-mail me, I promise I will reply to it as soon as I can.

This is the second time I have lost my blog draft (final draft) just cz I wasn't smart enough to save it. It is pretty darn annoying! Why do I even use Notepad to draft my blogs? And while I write this, what do I see? I am using notepad again. Wait let me switch to MS Word. OK. So when I say notepad, I am not talking about the old plain notepad; instead, I am talking about notepad++. Which is pretty cool. You can paste your plain text and it formats the test in your chosen language (programming language that is, like java, C, C++, C#, VB, XML or any other language you can think of). I just use the plain text setting for blogs. Plus of doing this is that there is no carry over formatting to the blogger. You will know what I am talking about if you try pasting something from word to blogger.

Did I mention about this hilarious e-mail that I sent to a client? I wrote (text changed):
‘Hey Paul,
I can’t reproduce the problem on our domain. We might have to come up with a work around. I fyou want, call me and we can discuss this.
Thanks,
Sowm’
This is what happens when you don’t proof your e-mails. I didn’t realize this until a coworker pointed this out. ALWAYS double check your e-mails, before you hit the send button.

This Sunday, I watched ‘London Dreams’ – ridiculously ridiculous rubbish! Anyways, so in the theater bathroom, I met with an accident (actually my phone did). It slipped from my hand, fell on the rim of the commode, and broke in three pieces – front, battery and the back cover. The front part fell on the ground and the battery and the back cover went down the flush right in front of my eyes. Now you know why I use a cheap phone. Good thing, I had an extra phone at home :-)

Can’t wait for this day/week to get over!

Another good-for-nothing creation that was sitting in the notepad from last one week! Now you have no choice but to read it. Sorry.


what happened ?
what happened to my dream
of living a crazy life
traveling the world
reaching for everything
that i always wanted

my dream
of doing what none else thinks of doing
living by my rules
being happy
and living my life
just the way i always have
like the crazy one

what happened to my dream
is it still alive
or am i letting it die
am i still fighting the world
to keep it alive?

It’s a brutal truth that I have outgrown a size two in merely two months. And now I am obsessed – obsessed with losing weight, dieting, exercising, and what not. But being a food jerk, it has been hard for me to stick to a diet. I have had several plans, most of which have failed miserably.

PLAN # 1: All vegetarian diet I tried this for two weeks. And I was strictly able to stick to it. No meat for two whole weeks. I think I felt fine. But right after two weeks I started eating meat like a carnivore. Now I am back to where I was. Result – Nothing.

PLAN # 2: Lean Cuisine
I have screamed out loud many times that I do not enjoy cooking. So this seemed to be an easy diet plan to follow (but it was easy only for one day). Soon I got bored of the frozen food day and night. I can have it only once a day everyday at the most. And I found myself snacking like crazy. My snacks became heavier than my meals. and I was always unsatisfied and hungry. Result – Nothing again.

PLAN # 3: South beach diet
Belen introduced me to this diet plan. They say Tobey Maguire used this diet to get his Spiderman body (not that I want one like his). What it is, is basically making healthier eating choices, differentiating between good and bad carbs/fats. And I have been trying to stick to it. But to my surprise, the day I started this diet, I have been having cravings for cheesy, fried and greasy stuff. I have no idea why. I have never had such cravings! Honestly! Result – N-A-D-A!

PLAN # 4: ‘Eat small portions, five times a day’ diet
I have started eating five times a day. But the portions are not small. And some days, when they are, it doesn’t really matter. There are times when I feel stuffed, not hungry at all, but I still want to eat. Result – it’s making things worse!

I feel like I have some kind of eating disorder – the kind in which I want to eat everything edible I see around me. A kind in which I have cravings for food that I used to absolutely hate not too long ago. What has happened to me in these two months? What changed that changed me so much?

Now I am seriously looking for a plan that really works. It’s affecting me mentally and physically of course. It’s kinda shaping into a psychological disorder now. That uncontrollable urge to eat, and then the guilt after eating! To be honest, I am not fat, I just need to lose a couple of inches and I will be back to normal and happy. But I have no idea as to what diet/work-out plan to follow.

S.O.S!

Beware of small things

It’s that time of the year again – when summer is over and winter is not quite here yet. But this is that time of the year when we clean up. Pack the summer clothes/shoes and fill up the closet with warm/semi-warm clothes to get ready for the cold. So just like every year, I was organizing my closet when I saw how cluttered it was. Every time I clean it, I promise to myself that this closet will have only the basics, the bare minimums in it. No extras!

But again, every time I start cleaning, I find a bunch of stuff in there which is basically clutter - things I was crazy about, loved ‘em, spent a fortune on ‘em but will never be able to use ‘em. Random things - clothes I don’t like anymore, or don’t fit into, or are out of fashion, shoes that are pretty but don’t go well with anything, unused make up, souvenirs I collected from different places, bags, jewelry that I will never wear, old gifts from people who aren’t even a part of my life any more, some random wires, old broken phone, batteries, tons and tons of paper/receipts/documents and what not.

I wonder how this damn thing keeps getting so messed up. Where does all the ‘extra’ stuff keep coming from? I don’t even see them sneaking in there. And the worst part is that I notice them when it’s all over the place. It’s like it just takes control of the territory.

Isn’t that how our lives are too? We try to keep it simple, but with each passing day, we accumulate clutter and make our baggage heavier. We end up investing our time in the unnecessary, wasting our emotion in the undeserving, spending our money on the unworthy, and making the contemptible a part of our life. And what’s more tricky is that we realize it only when it takes control of us and messes us up in our heads. We keep overlooking these small things each day cz at that time it doesn’t look so messed up. But at the end of the year, when we look back, we see how these little things shape our lives.

So here’s a word of caution – “BEWARE OF SMALL THINGS”! Enjoy the good ones, and clean up the bad ones while they’re still small.

She is new, and she is unfamiliar

She is trying to understand and make it clear

But is she taking too long?

Who knows...

May be she will soon be gone!

Are you not who they want you to be?

Every little gesture takes a lot of thought, effort. A handshake, a kiss, a hug, a stare, a smile, a status message, an e-mail, answering the phone, leaving a voicemail...

Handshakes. They have a certain norm. You have to stand, look into the person's eyes, smile, squeeze just enough, time well and end at the right time.

So is an e-mail. Should start with a pleasent greeting, but not too cheesy. Has to be just long enough to have all the information, but still can't get too long. Should never be in ALL CAPS. Should end just the right way, with a nice sign off.

And so on...

My question is... who defines these norms? Who decided how should I be shaking hands with people, how should I be writing my e-mails, how should I be doing what I am doing right now?

And why do I have to follow them?

Everyne tells you to be who you are, but the truth is you have to be what they want you to be. If you don't act the way they do, they won't like you. Don't beleive me? Answer the following questions for yourself -

- Are you not who your boss wants you to be?

- Are you not who your wife/husband wants you to be?

- Are you not who your mamma wants you to be?

- Are you not who the people in the party want you to be?

Have the answers?

?DURNK

Read very fast:

Once again, I was reading AbsUrd and wanted to write a comment there. Comment became way too long. So am posting it here and linking it to her blog :) Payal my sweet heart, you are my inspiration! :P

Now read slow:

Remember those drunk nights? The kind of things you did... You probably wouldn't even have dreamed of doing anything like that in your complete senses. Those mornings when you wake up and have to go over pictures to trace back the previous night! That's what we are talking about... Let's just list out few of those crazy moments here. Payal has a good list oh her blog - The things you can do on pretext of being drunk. I am just adding some more points there:

- Flirt with that cute guy and get away with it next morning 'Oh man last night was so fun, I don't even remember what I did'

- Kiss the bartender/Bouncer

- Scream your lungs out

- Pour your heart out, laugh, cry, hug, or any other BS

- Slap that guy you absolutely hate, or be a bitch to the guy who doesn't pay attention to you otherwise

- Just pass out. Where ever, when ever! And have a good night's sleep

- Have a life changing conversation with a complete stranger

- Have a serious conversation with friends on "How to save the world?"

Feel free to add to it. I know everyone has their drunk moments :)

P.S. This is no confession!!

My dear laptop,

I know this e-mail might piss the crap out of you, but I couldn’t hide it anymore. There are some things I want you to know…

By how I have been treating you from last few days, you should have a fair idea that something is going on in my mind. The time when I picked you, you seemed to be pretty strong and reliable. That’s why I went ahead and let you be a part of my life – an indispensable part indeed. But only after one year you have changed. So much so, that I am sitting here writing this letter to you.

You have lost all the things that attracted me to you. Your nine cell battery is dead now. You don’t even have back up for a minute. So you are no more portable. I can’t take you anywhere, cz you need to be plugged into the wall all the time. Not only that, you don’t even look the same anymore. The cover for the dvd player has come off. It looks like you have lost a body part. Even if I ignore that, I still miss other things about you.

Like, I miss pressing your left click button! I still remember the day when I pressed it for the last time and it got stuck – never returned to its original position after that. Even today my eyes become teary when I look at that stuck button. I also miss the days when you didn’t have mood swing issues. Do you remember the time when I could just do what I wanted to, run several applications at the same time, and visit ten different web pages? And you… you never had a problem. You were fast and capable of handling all the surprises. But now – you PMS! You throw random bloodhound detection warnings on me. And how can I forget your rude “Out of Disk Space” warning?

And what was up with temporarily effing up my ‘F’ key last month?

What is your deal?

All I want to say is that I still love you. And I want us to be happy together, once again. Just like how we were in the beginning. Tell me baby, what can I do to fix it?

Love.

Let’s call it a reading challenge!

Confession time! I have been wanting to improve on my reading habit from a long time. Back in the days... (High school days I mean :P) I loved to read. All kinds of stuff – classics, fiction, non-fiction, good bad, short, long, sad, happy, inspirational and everything else. And slowly I just stopped reading. And like everyone else, I found a million things to blame it on. School, friends, family, time, newer hobbies etc. And I always promised to myself that one day – one fine day – I will get back to reading.

I guess now is the time. I have decided to start reading for pleasure again. And since I have a very short concentration span, I will have to have a plan. So let’s do this – From now on, every time I pick up the book, I will read at least twenty pages. Not too much I know, but may be a good start.

Some calculation –

I am reading The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama - Its 415 pages in total. So if I read twenty pages every time I pick up the book, I should be able to finish this book in about twenty days. But since I am on a vacation, I can read more, or may be twice. So let’s say forty pages every day. And that way I can finish reading the book in ten days. Not bad!

Wish me luck :)

P.S. Feel free to be a part of this challenge, cz it's like challenging yourself to read better stuff more often :)

How to strike the work-life balance?

All of us have been struggling to strike a balance between our work life and personal life. And obviously it's not easy, else it wouldn't have kept the entire world on toes, trying to hit it. Balance can never exist as a fixed point in life. It is a state of juggling efficiently between the several important things in life, and making time for all. This dynamic state of being, makes it difficult to achieve.

The truth is - there is no perfect balance. Like what former General Electrical chief executive, Jack Welch, once said "There's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences." So how do we make the right choices?

1. Set your priorities right - We must figure out what really matters to us in life. What is that one thing that our life should be focused on. And what comes next and so on... It could be family, career, health, hobby or anything else.

2. De-cluttering your day -Some unnecessary activities take up a major chunk of our lives without us realizing it. And eventually making us less productive during the day. For example, checking and replying to e-mails instantly. It interrupts the on-going process, and we spend time arranging the mailbox folders every time we get an e-mail. And we end up spending five minutes every now and then. The idea is not to procrastinate, but to set aside 15 minutes or so every two hours to check, reply, arrange the e-mails. Watching T.V., too frequent coffee breaks, long lunch breaks come next in the list.

3. Never bring work home - We often tend to bring work home, or spend extra hours at work when it's not required and this significantly reduces the personal time. Bringing work home is like invading your own private time. Make sure you finish your work before you come back. Even if it means putting in that extra hour in the evening or cutting your lunch hour short.

4. Don't over-commit - Especially Indians tend to promise delivering more than what they can. And then we tend to compromise on our personal time. This eventually burns us out. Don't be hesitant in being realistic and setting realistic goals. If you do end up over-committing, ask for help!

5. Force vacations on yourself - Take some time off to avoid the burn out. Talk to your boss, and book tickets in advance. Vacation is important (and it has been medically proved). This will give you more time for family and will rejuvenate your energies so that you can perform better at work once you come back.

On another note, don't bring your personal life at work. Don't forget you are being paid for the work you do. Try to be as effective as you can be during your work hours, so that you don;t have to put in extra time later.

With these little changes in your lifestyle you can also achieve a state of effectiveness and harmony in your life. Let's make living simple :)

I had to tell this to you...

Without giving you much background, let me just start with the highlight of the day –

I had to attend an online training today, for which I had to call into a web meeting. Since it was going to be a looooong one, I decided not to use my cell phone. Instead I called in via VOIP (Skype) – $2.95/month for unlimited calls within the USA. So everything was set, and just before the meeting started, I found out that there was a technical issue on my end… a VERY, trust me VERY, weird issue.

When I called in I sounded like a man! No kidding! That freaked the presenter out and he had to mute the phone. LOL

Let me know if any of you knows how to fix this problem… please :)

Not a rant!

I am posting after a break and y'all know the reason - being busy hunting for a job, studying, traveling, maintaining two blogs... Basically just trying to survive each day. But I will NOT rant about it. And I will also NOT rant about my laptop acting funky. I will just mention it. Simply, plainly, casually just mention it...

So my dear laptop (read it with great sarcasm) decided to throw a message on me every time I try to open any program. Be it a word document, or a website, or a picture, or anything else. To get that most annoying "Disk out of memory" message, all I have to do is to click on something. It won't let me log into any websites either. What I don't understand is that what on earth happened to ALL the disk space? No, I am pretty sure I didn't use all of it. Has someone secretly been storing their stuff on my disk? Grrrr...

What's even more annoying is that I feel paralysed without this piece of technology. I have mixed feelings about technology. Well yeah, I am an engineer, but can we not ignore it for a moment? Good. So as I was saying... I have this mixed feeling about technology. As much as I love it and am fascinated by the new gadgets that keep adding to the already flooded electronic market, it makes me think about the days without the blackberries and the laptops. I totally appreciate the development and I promise that I am totally not from the old school. But I do miss the days when a computer was just a computer, and a phone was just a phone. And we had our personal lives, not dependent on or addicted to these super products encapsulated in tiny bodies.

I miss the days when we used to go out and spend more time with our friends and not just poke them on facebook while doing million other things side by side. (Puhleez... don't bring out the point of distance, time etc here). Those old days when the kids used to go out more often and not just play video games at home. When there were no facebook/orkut stalkers. When we actually used to call our parents more often and not just send them an e-mail. When we used to send real flowers and greeting cards on birthdays instead of the e-cards. For some reason we were not this busy. People who came up with the electronics claimed to ease our lives by doing everything for us, faster than us.. But don't you think we have become busier than ever before?

Eeeeesssshhhhhhh... So I just read above, and yes I agree I sounded like a grandma :-P But you can totally blame it on my laptop that is acting up on me. I get SICK keeping it under control... or at least trying to keep it under control.

P.S. I stick to the grandma statements I made. But I also admit that I am addicted to technology and I can NOT imagine a life without my electronic friends - laptop, ipod and their other cousins.

Please understand... For heaven's sake!

How many times have I heard this? “Sowm, you are so complicated”. Huh? Which girl isn’t? You want a girl but you want her not to be complicated, not to have her issues, not to be hard to handle at times… good luck with that! You are not gonna find any such girl. And if you get lucky enough to find one, trust me she won’t be fun. And honestly, I think I am not THAT difficult to be handled after all. I am vocal, straight forward and clear about things. I mean understanding is a different issue altogether. If the guy knows how to handle the girl, he will be fine…

So all you losers who have been struggling to find a way to handle a girl, here’s some useful info for you…

• Girls are complicated. Accept it. They will always be. They will cry when they are happy and they will cry when they are sad. But you will know the difference.
• Girls are not THAT complicated. Don’t try to read any signs. They are pretty straight forward these days; they will tell you what they want. (It’s not a Shah Rukh Khan movie where ‘larki ki na me haan chhupa hota hai’)
• PMS/Mood swings – They can be real bitches during this time. Just tell them what they want to hear. Don’t argue and make them feel everything is normal. They just want to be pampered.
• Girls want to feel special. Romance, surprises and candle lit dinners are not gay! We still like it…
• Don’t overdo it. Way too romantic all the time = BORE. We want guys to be naughty, playful and flirtatious at times. A good sense of humor and a smart mind is a plus… too much lovey-dovey doesn’t work all the time. Girls like to have fun too.
• If she hangs up on you once… she expects you to call her back. If she hangs up on you twice… text her!
• We respect honesty – don’t lie! (This one is a little tricky) If the girl tells you she is gaining weight and needs to exercise, don’t just fake that you think she looks perfect. She knows she doesn’t. You are in a spot here… handle it diplomatically… just say ‘I don’t think so, but I guess I will have to hit the gym too to keep up with you. You will be in perfect shape and all hot after working out’ there are some questions you can’t answer with a plain ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
• Make her feel special – not just by words, but also actions. Every girl deserves it. Remember all those times when you vented your frustrations at her? Yelled at her for no reason - When she took care of you - Motivated you to do your best - Strengthened you when you were weak - Loved you selflessly
• Return the favor: as simple as it is… for everything she has done for you, she expects only one thing from you – be there for her. Not just physically, but also emotionally.
• Don’t be an asshole. Politeness can still win hearts… be a gentleman to her!
• Be that support system she is looking for – easiest way to lose your girl is to leave her alone when she needs you. Trust me you will lose her in no time! Cz she is most likely to find someone who will be there at the right spot at the right time. And it’s very easy to steal a girl when she is vulnerable.
• Protect her, but don’t make her feel she can’t handle herself. That’s a no-no. Never tell a girl she can’t. (and you know she is right)
• Give her 100% attention. Listen to her when she talks to you. Give inputs. She will appreciate that.
• Don’t judge her all the time. If she likes you and is comfortable with you. She will say meaningless little things every now and then. Don’t bother. Just let her be, she is just trying to be cute. Smile and say you love her. You will get more than what you expect from her.
• Girls enjoy conversations. Talk to her. Trust me she will fall for you all over again after a meaningful conversation.
  

These are some things I can think of at the moment. Don’t try to study a girl’s psychology. You know you can’t understand it. Don’t even try. Just take it easy and you will see how easy it is to handle your babe. And if you take care of her, she will take care of you. You keep her happy and you know she will not leave you :)

P.S. I am sure I missed out some points. So folks, if you think there is something interesting I should include… inputs welcome :)